The Fruit Bat
“Sorry, sorry,” I breathed, running into Smoothie Boss at five ‘till close. It had to be the second or third time this week I had done this to them. On the way home from work, I always stopped by Smoothie Boss to get my favorite smoothie (Strawberry Banana Dream with extra strawberries). Ever since getting my promotion, however, I had to start staying later and later at work. Before I knew it, I was running out of the office to get my smoothie.
I hated being the last customer of the day anywhere; working in food service to pay my way through college instilled that annoyance in me. Being ‘That Guy’ was never fun. Luckily, everyone at Smoothie Boss was genuinely nice. I could still see their eyes narrowing whenever I came in this late, however.
“It’s alright, buddy,” the cashier, Ryan, said in a friendly tone. “We know you gotta get your smoothie!”
I felt like such an asshole. “I’ll try to come in earlier tomorrow, I swear.”
“Work doin’ it to ya, Mr. G?” Mercedes asked from the other side of the building as she smiled brightly at me. She was the general manager, and even though she didn’t have to, she was always out front, making smoothies and getting to know every customer. It was nice and refreshing to see, especially coming from my strict corporate office.
“Always is, Mercedes!” I walked towards the ordering area, watching as she began to make my smoothie. “It’s worth it for the paycheck, though.”
“That’s what my miserable older brother says,” Mercedes shrugged as she tossed sliced bananas in the blender. “He works where you work, just on the first floor.”
“Human Resources?”
“Yep. He hates it.”
“I would too, if I worked down there,” I shuddered. “I think I’m happy just crunching the numbers.”
Mercedes grabbed a Styrofoam cup as the smoothie began to blend. “I’m sure you’d like doing something different though, yeah?” she asked over the noise of the blender.
I just shrugged, unable to answer. It wasn’t like I loved my job, but it paid the bills. I had the weekends for ‘something different’.
Handing my smoothie over to Ryan, she said, “Give Mr. G the discount.” Before I could protest, she held up her hands. “You’re welcome,” she winked. I shook my head as she walked back over to the fruit station.
“Geez…”
I walked back out into the dusk, the city streetlights turning on for the night as I made my way to my apartment. The walk wasn’t too long, so I never really cared to walk to and from work. Tonight, however, felt a little…strange. Even though it was a summer evening, the wind was chill. I felt the hair stand up on my neck as I walked along, my eyes darting around looking for anything out of the norm.
The city got less and less nice as I walked down the main road, boutiques becoming corner stores and restaurants becoming fast food stops. I couldn’t afford to live in the penthouses my peers lived in just yet, so I lived right outside the gentrified part of the North Side.
The people were rough around the edges, but welcomed me into the neighborhood as soon as they realized that I wasn’t a threat. Being a White Man in a Black Neighborhood was always a little intimidating, no matter what one’s beliefs are. I’m glad that my neighbors and I believed the same things, however. I help when trouble comes for them, and they helped me when I needed it. Coexisting was peaceful.
As I rounded the corner, however, I suddenly felt unsafe. The wind was picking up now, the dark starting to creep into the streetlights. I turned my head to look over my shoulder. It felt like someone was following me, but no one was there when my eyes peeked behind. Despite this, I started to walk faster.
Soon, I saw my street in the distance. I needed to walk a few more blocks, then I’d be safe! I began to walk even faster, peeking behind me every few steps. I couldn’t shake this scared feeling.
Looking back one more time, I didn’t realize there was something in front of me. I hit a solid object and reeled back, grip tightening on my smoothie. I found my footing and looked for what I hit. I suddenly locked eyes with a very tall man. He looked very Gothic, like he belonged in an underground metal band. He was looking down at me with an expression I could only describe as hungry. “I’m, uh, I’m sorry…” I muttered, unable to look away from his big eyes. “I didn’t mean to, um…”
“Is…is that…a strawberry banana smoothie with extra strawberries?”
The question caught me off guard. I looked at the smoothie in my hand, then back at the skeletal-like man in front of me. His nose was twitching as if he could smell the fruit inside. “Y-yeah,” I nodded. “I just got it from Smoothie Boss, but I think they’re closed by now.”
“Can I have it?”
I couldn’t help but let a laugh escape from my chest. “What? You want my smoothie?”
“Yes.”
“I — no! I’m not giving you my smoothie,” I shook my head defiantly. “You can rob me of everything else, but I’m keeping this smoothie.”
The tall man frowned, a sadder expression than I was expecting. “I can’t have your smoothie?” His voice was steady but I could hear that he was really peeved about this. For some reason, this tickled me.
“I don’t know you like that, man,” I said, laughing for real now. This didn’t seem like a robbery situation. This guy just seemed weird. “Just go buy one yourself.”
“But they’re closed now…”
“Yeah, just go tomorrow,” I said dismissively as I began to walk around him.
He cut me off, shifting slightly so that he stood in front of me again. “If I don’t drink that now, I’ll die.”
There was a long silence as I tried to decide whether or not to laugh. “You’ll…die?”
“I can’t tell you why.”
“Well, then, I don’t believe you,” I chuckled as I attempted to walk around him again. This time he let me, so I kept walking. The whole time I walked from where he was to my street, I could feel his eyes burning holes in the back of my head.
I got into my house and sighed deeply. Other than that weirdness, the day had been uneventful, as usual. It was time to unwind.
Saturday came the next day, and I woke up happy that I didn’t have to go into the office. I laid in bed for a bit and thought about what to make for breakfast. French toast with fruit sounded good, so I went downstairs and walked into the kitchen to make it happen.
When I reached the fruit basket, I saw something strange. I had gone to the grocery six days ago, so there was no way anything should have gone bad…But as I stared down into the basket, all I saw was wrinkled, dried up apples and bananas. Even the oranges looked as if they had been dehydrated. I opened up my fridge to see more of the same. All the berries looked like raisins, as if I had bought them to dry out on purpose.
That night, I went to Smoothie Boss to get my normal smoothie. “Hey,” I began to ask Mercedes as she grabbed the strawberries. “Can…can I get two of those?”
Mercedes’s eyes lit up. “Who is she??”
“It’s…it’s not that,” I smiled, shaking my head. “I just want two today.”
“You’re wild, Mr. G,” Ryan said from the register.
I walked out into the night, knowing that eventually I’d see that tall man again. Soon, I heard the cool wind pick up and saw the man at the corner, looking over at me smugly. As I approached, I smelled a strange sweet smell, as if there were fresh fruit wafting in the air.
“You dehydrated my fruit??” I called out as I got closer. “Because I wouldn’t give you my smoothie?”
“Not exactly.” The man seemed pleased regardless.
I roughly extended my arm to him, holding the extra smoothie within his reach. “Here, I got you one today.”
“I don’t need it now,” the man sighed, looking away.
“What??” I furrowed my brow.
“I drank what I needed last night.”
“What are you talking about??”
“I don’t owe you an explanation,” the man said as he looked over at me again. His eyes were still so big despite being narrowed. “You didn’t listen, so I had to do something drastic.”
“I’m so confused,” I frowned. “Are we talking about the same thing?”
“I’m a fruit vampire,” the man sighed. “My name is Shawn.”
“Shawn the Fruit Vampire.” I snorted. “That sounds fake.”
“I know what it sounds like, but it’s true.”
I shook my head, completely refusing the thought. “You’re going to have to explain this in full for me to even comprehend what you’re telling me right now. You…drained my fruit of juice because you’re a fruit vampire?”
Shawn nodded simply. “I was an intern at a fruit bat sanctuary a few years back. I got bit, got hungry for fruit. When eating it didn’t help me, I started buying juice. When that made me sick, I started making smoothies. The added sugar in lots of fruit-based products doesn’t do it for me. Smoothie Boss always uses the good stuff, so I try to wake up before they close so I can get breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
“I woke up late two days in a row and I don’t have enough money to buy my own fruit right now, so I had no food…I was hungry. I smelled your smoothie miles away and knew I needed to have it. When you brushed me off, I followed you and discovered you had a LOT of fruit in your house…So obviously I had to have it.”
“What, out of spite?” I spat, now upset. Shawn just smiled at me, sharp teeth glittering in the streetlight. He took the extra smoothie from me and sipped it as he waited for me to speak again. I just stared at him, unable to believe him. He had to be lying. Vampires were blood-sucking beasts, not fruit loving goths. I was just so confused.
“So the bat bit you?”
“Yep.”
“Wow.”
“It was dumb, but it happened. Wear gloves when handling bats, I guess.” He shrugged as he delivered that bit of advice to me.
“So, no blood? Just fruit?”
Shawn nodded, sipping the smoothie again.
“And added sugar makes you sick, so you get your own fruit most of the time?”
“To make into smoothies.”
“But you like Smoothie Boss too.”
“Who doesn’t?”
“And…”
“You don’t have to recap the whole story, dude,” Shawn sighed, shaking his head as he looked away. “Just accept that your life will never be the same since you know vampires exist.”
“I don’t know if vampires exist,” I said. Shawn frowned at this. “I only know that fruit bat vampires exist.”
Another sigh spilled out of Shawn. “Real vampires exist too, you’ve just not met one yet.” He looked over at me and added, “Hope you never have to meet a real one. They’re much scarier than I am.”
As he walked off, I stared after him in disbelief. “Fruit bat vampire…” I chuckled. “This is a weird dream. I should pinch myself awake.” All the way home, all my pinches just hurt. I just focused on the smoothie, ignoring that this might not be a dream after all.
Hello everyone! The other day, I was thinking about different kinds of vampires, as one who is obsessed with vampires does. This morning, it hit me: why can’t Fruit Bats make vampires too? Although I guess the vampire might turn out a little wonky…
I’m sure this isn’t a unique thought of mine, but I was so tickled by it that I needed to write a short story about it! I hope you liked Mr. G’s little adventure! I have a feeling I’m going to come back to this concept one day just to flesh it out more. Maybe this can be the start of a new novel project…a bunch of my short stories all together in one book?! I’m only thinking out loud, but I’d say that’s not a bad idea…
As I think on that idea, you guys think about following me on Twitter! I post blog updates, song recommendations, and memes. Mostly memes. If you’re feeling generous, feel free to leave a tip on ko-fi for me as well! Every tip I receive on there goes straight to self-publishing my current novel!
Thanks for reading, as always! Come back next week for the Monthly Review! I cannot believe we’re already there…I’m sure I’ll say that again next week…Come back to see if I’m right!
