Past the Halfway Point

24 weeks, baybeeeeee. Ignore the dirty mirror and disheveled bed and look at that baby bump!

Hello everyone! As you know, this year I have been pregnant. I’m due in July, and it’s crazy to think that the due date is creeping ever closer…I’ll have a baby in my arms in (at the most)110 days! If you’ve never been pregnant, lemme tell ya: It’s strange. It’s a whole rollercoaster of emotion, physical pain, and weird cravings. It’s also pretty cool to know that I’ve been growing a baby for 6 months. Feeling Olivia bumping around in there makes me happy, even if she’s kicking extra hard that day.

I don’t really know what to say too much about the ups and downs of pregnancy, despite literally living it every day. The first trimester was awful, but that’s common for everyone. Throwing up every day, being unable to eat anything but knowing that I had to, feeling tired and upset all the time…it’s not fun!

The second trimester has been much easier in terms of nausea and appetite; I’m amazed at how much I can put down in one meal. I usually don’t eat too much because of my medicine, but now I’ll eat a meal and then some. For example, this morning I had a giant breakfast burrito and was not only satisfied, but was happy to eat some of Matt’s breakfast as well.

I also don’t really feel like I can speak too much on cravings. I haven’t had too many weird ones. In fact, I think the weirdest one was Grippos and ranch dip. That’s not TOO weird. What’s weird to me is how my diet has changed. I rarely eat sweets anymore, which is unheard of if you know me well. Sweets are like, 90% of my daily intake normally (an exaggeration, but not by much). I crave more spicy, savory foods now. Even vinegar-y/sour foods like pickles aren’t completely off the table…which is WEIRD because I am not a fan of vinegar-y/sour foods at all. I don’t find myself wanting Oreos after every meal, I don’t go out of my way to find something sweet…it’s been very strange to only want savory foods in my diet recently.

Now that I’m past the halfway point of my pregnancy, I’m getting a little anxious about everything. I wake up in the middle of the night quite literally in the middle of a panic attack like, every other sleep. At first, I thought it was my blankets cause I like to sleep with a lot of them, so I adjusted. Then I thought, well maybe it’s cats and Matt sleeping basically on top of me every night. So we adjusted (which, by the way, sucks cause I LOVE cuddling with Matt and now it’s harder because of my attacks!). When the panic attacks started happening, it was multiple times every night…so one every other night is a huge improvement, and I’m going to talk to my midwife about it when I go back for my checkup next week.

I’m wondering if the anxiety has to do with all the changes that are happening around me as well as inside of me. Of course, Baby Olivia is growing and developing, which is changing how I look. I’m cool with that. But we’re also moving in 20 days, which is a huge change during an already transformative time in my life. Work is usually my escape from life problems, but now work problems are leaking into my subconscious (I’ve had so many work-related dreams lately, it’s insane). And on top of everything else, I have to keep my stress low and stay somewhat physically active so that I don’t tip into having a high risk pregnancy. It’s a lot of work to not be stressed while all these stressors are in the front of my mind!!

Luckily, I’ve been surrounded by people willing to help me every step of the way. I feel safe and happy every time I think of my family and friends, knowing that they want the best for my growing family. Matt has been the best husband. He’s been very patient with me despite my ups and downs, and is truly the voice of reason in this relationship right now. It’s been great knowing he’s got my back and is doing what he needs to do for our family. I’ve always felt like I picked the right spouse, but he’s really proving me right!

Knowing that my life is going to change so dramatically in three month’s time is scary and exciting all at the same time. I’m really hoping that I have an easy time during this third trimester, and I’m hoping that Olivia makes her debut on time so that we can get all moved in and settled before she arrives! Even if she comes a little early, I think we’ll be okay. I’ve got tons of people in my corner, and I know that I’m going to be a great mom! I’ve wanted to have a family of my own all my life, so it’s pretty cool knowing that that dream of mine is almost a reality. It’ll be hard, but I think Matt and I will be okay. It’ll be worth the cons to see all of the pros that come with parenthood.

Thanks for reading, everyone! I thought I’d give a little update as to how I’m feeling at this point in my pregnancy. It’s been a weird rollercoaster, and I’m excited and nervous for it to end. I’m sure I’ll be feeling that “get this kid out of me” feeling here in a month or so, but for now I’m enjoying Olivia’s little flips and kicks in the womb. If she keeps up all this kicking, she’s gonna be a star soccer player later in life or something…she never stops!

Anyway, if you enjoyed reading today, consider signing up to get notified whenever I post another one! You can do that below. I also post each blog post on Twitter, so feel free to follow me there if you’d like. Finally, I have a ko-fi if you’d like to donate to the Self-Publishing Fund I’ve been working on! Eventually I’ll have a novel, if I can ever figure out the ending…but in the meantime, thank you for reading! I hope you’ll come back next week for something different!

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Mary B. Golubich

Mary B. Golubich

I write stories, as well as music, movie, product reviews and monthly wrap-up journals. Basically, if you can think it, I can write about it.