Pandemic Blues
Lately I can’t stop thinking about how COVID-19 has completely derailed my plans for the second half of my 20s. I wanted to get my license this year so that I would be able to drive not only me around, but Matt too. He can’t see very well at night, so driving the two of us around (and potentially him to work) has always been the goal ever since I met him. I also wanted to try for a baby this year, maybe next…Move into our forever home, start our semi-little family with Matt, Damian, Neoma, Freya, and Future Baby G.
Instead, I’m living every day one at a time, wondering if today will be the day I lose my job, or get sick, or something crazy happens where my way of life isn’t viable anymore.
I think that this will be just like how the Great Depression was for our grandparents and great-grandparents. This pandemic will affect our psyche so much that it will effect our future generations for years to come. Obviously I’m not qualified to really know that for a fact, but I know a pattern when I see one. Knowing that history repeats itself and actually witnessing it doing so are two different feelings. I’d much rather know that it happens than live through it!
Knowing that my nephews and niece are living through this, three of them old enough to know what’s going on, really gets to me sometimes as well. How are they going to be able to live a normal life once all of this is over? The three of them are smart in their own individual ways, but I feel like even the smartest, most gifted kid would still have trouble learning from home.
I’m extra concerned about all the parents that aren’t able to really teach their children. Teaching is hard! That’s why people go to school and get paid to do it (teachers should be paid so much more, and I think people have finally realized that now thanks to all of this…pros and cons, I guess!). I love my in-laws, but I know it’s got to be hard for them to teach their three boys. Honestly, I’m relieved the twins aren’t able to grasp what’s happening. They’re turning one in August, so they are blissfully unaware.
I feel for the pregnant women right now too. I know multiple ladies who are having their kids through this pandemic; some will be mothers for the first time. I have no idea how they’re truly coping, but I imagine I would be devastated. I know how I want my pregnancy to go when it eventually happens, and I’m aware that life doesn’t work out the way my dreams do. I also know that there is no way I would be happy with not being able to do the usual pre-baby things. Stuff like baby showers, lots of doctors visits, going and buying essentials…even nesting would be difficult right now, I can imagine. How are you to put together the perfect baby room when you can’t go out and find the perfect baby items?
Obviously, those experiences aren’t my own. I’m lucky to be considered “essential” working in the food industry. We are a name-brand restaurant, but we are a franchise. Our owner is amazing, and he’s been able to keep us all afloat. The fact remains, however: If things get worse, I don’t know if I’ll still have a job. And if we shut down the store, it may be for good. I have always felt like I had to prove that my career choice was the right one for me, and if this pandemic takes that away, I’ll have to start from square one again. I don’t know how easily I’ll be able to do so.
However! I’m hoping that things are starting to look up. Everyday I hear about how things are starting to come together in the medical and scientific world. Maybe we’ll have something to fight back soon? At the very least, people are recovering. After hearing nothing but horror stories for the past month, these small bursts of light are very, very welcome.
I try to be positive about everything, but even I know that nothing will be as it used to once this is all said and done. The economy will take forever to heal. I’m convinced that our collective mental health will never fully heal, and unfortunately we don’t really have a choice to avoid the downswing. I’m one of the lucky ones that gets to break quarantine and I’m still anxious and depressed. For those of you who are fully quarantined, and those who have had COVID-19 (or are fighting it now), I can only imagine the mental state you’re in.
It’s a scary thought, knowing that life will be different post-COVID. I believe that life will find a way to keep going, and my life in particular will get back on the track I planned. Everyone will be able to get some sense of normalcy sooner than later (I hope). We just have to keep going! Staying positive is the only way to really get through this uncertain time. Our outlook is one of the few things that we have control over, so why not try to see the positive things?
I’m sure people are getting more work done around their houses. I’ve seen people redecorating and bringing life back into their houses. I’ve re-potted and moved some of my plants around to bring a new look to certain rooms, for example. I’ve also seen more people reading and being creative, or even just catching up on movies or shows they’ve missed because they were too busy.
Parents are getting to spend more time with their kids, which to me sounds great. If I had a full-time job and a couple of kids I didn’t really see all to much thanks to my job, I’d want to spend time with them throughout all of this! Family time has always been important to me, and I’m sure people that don’t get to spend quality time with theirs are really enjoying it. If they aren’t…well, I’m sure they’ll be able to figure out how to enjoy it!! After all, what else is there to do?
Little things we take for granted have been brought to the surface now that we’ve all been forced to stay inside. Although there are tons of cons to this pandemic, I genuinely think that if people try to look at the pros, they’ll be able to get through one day at a time. It’s hard to be scared and negative all the time. Sometimes, you just have to stop and remember that whatever happens, happens. We’ll all be in it together!
Thanks for reading! I know that this post isn’t super cheery and fun like the last few have been, but I think it’s important to remember that it’s a hard world we live in! Venting via blog is still blogging, and I think it’s a relatable topic for us to feel like we’re all in this together.
It’s okay to feel whatever negative thoughts that are running through our minds throughout this pandemic. It’s also important to remember that letting those thoughts pass by and being able to find the good in every day really does help one get through it. Hopefully this post helped you feel less alone!
Follow me on Twitter if you’d like to see what I’m up to on a daily basis. Right now, I’m obsessed with the thought of road tripping to a Cook Out somewhere in the Carolinas, and Animal Crossing. So if you’d like to see some of that, go ahead and follow me! I also make sure to post the blog updates on there too, which is probably more important to say…!
