May 2023
Hello everyone! It’s the end of May, which means that it’s time for a Monthly Wrapup post! This month has been an emotional rollercoaster. Let me tell you all about it!
Scary Times
Last year, the doctor found a strange thing growing inside of Matt’s lung. After an unsuccessful biopsy, they decided to keep an eye on it for potential growth. In April, they noticed that it had grown to the size of a kiwi so they decided to do another biopsy to determine exactly what it was.
To say I was nervous is an understatement. Matt and I were both terrified! What was this growth? Why was it there? Why did it have to wait until we had just had Olivia?! It was nervewracking.
After a long wait, we were able to get Matt into the hospital so that they could do another biopsy. The last one they did was unsuccessful because Matt had a bad reaction to the sedatives. He was throwing nurses around like rag dolls!!
This time around, they weren’t going to completely put Matt under, but they were going to eliminate all pain he could possibly feel by drugging him up as much as possible. Apparently he said some funny things during the procedure (“Tell me when you start”, says Matt to the almost-finished surgeon).
After an even longer wait, the results came back…he was cancer-free! Turns out the growth was just histoplasmosis, which comes up identically to cancer in non-invasive tests (they should really figure out how to differentiate between the two). Matt thinks he got histoplasmosis from his time working at a fencing company and just didn’t have any problems until now.
Histoplasmosis is an infection found in fungus within bird and bat droppings. Because of all the construction going on in central Columbus, doctors have been seeing more cases over the years (according to Matt’s doctor at the hospital, anyways). I figure it makes sense for it to be a long term incubation period for the infection, since fungus can linger. Getting rid of black mold, for example, can take quite a long time.
Either way, the fungus in Matt’s lung is dying so the doctor isn’t worried about it. It should go away on its own, the dead cells filtering themselves out of Matt’s body with little to no effect. I’m happy that it’s as simple as that, and we don’t have to add “cancer diagnosis” to the list of problems we have to face together!!
Mother’s Day
This year was my first Mother’s Day as a mom! I really was looking forward to being celebrated by my husband, as well as visiting my mom and Nana in Indianapolis. Matt, Liv, and I drove to Indy and stayed the night, hanging out and relaxing with my mom’s side of the family. It was really nice to see them, especially my Nana! Olivia seemed to have a good time too. My Nana loves her so much, and I’m always happy when she gets to love on her great granddaughter!
I’m honestly grateful that we got to take this little trip to see my family. I was looking forward to it, and it didn’t disappoint. I couldn’t help but wonder what Matt was going to do that was special for just me on Mother’s Day. Sure, going to Indy was for me, but I planned the trip and made sure we all could get there and back, schedule wise…would he wake up early with Liv the next day? Would he buy me a card, or flowers? I told him I wanted a bracelet or my Apple Watch fixed, but I would be okay with anything special.
I feel like a spoiled brat when I say this, but I was kind of disappointed for my first Mother’s Day. I got to visit family, but I expected at least a card from Matt and didn’t get anything like that. Other, less materialistic people would say “But Mary! Visiting your family was the gift!” And I would agree! At the end of the day, I did get a gift — I got to visit people I don’t usually see, which was wonderful and felt good to be able to do.
A mother only ever gets one first Mother’s Day. I think there’s an assumption among most people that that within itself is special. Once again, I feel spoiled saying this, but I figured Matt would let me sleep in, or take on more Liv Duty for the day than normal if he couldn’t get me a special gift. I understand that we’re balling on a budget, but a card can be as little as one dollar. I guess I just expected more than what I got for Mother’s Day.
I feel like it’s an okay feeling to be deflated about the holiday being less than special. I loved spending time with my family, but the whole time Matt was getting harassed by his family for not being in Youngstown for Mother’s Day (where his extended family lives) and it didn’t make me feel good to hear him complain the whole time. On the way there and back, he complained about the drive. It just felt like he was upset we had to celebrate at all, and I’ve tried to tell him this but he took it as me saying “You didn’t buy me anything!” Which, while true, was not really the point I was making.
All in all, my first Mother’s Day was not as I expected it to be. I wish it had been more special, but I am super grateful I got to see my family. I think I blew up my ideal Mother’s Day in my head and what I wanted wasn’t what I got. Hopefully next year will be better with more planning and care!
Olivia Update
Olivia is 10 months this month! She has been learning everything so fast. She can point, clap, sign “milk”, and walk with support! It’s crazy how fast she’s learning everything. She’s always been a fast learner, but lately it’s been on overdrive.
She’s also getting a lot bigger. She’s fitting into 12 month stuff, although it’s a little loose. If they had 11 month clothes they’d probably fit perfectly! I have a pile of new clothes for her that I need to wash and organize because she’s quickly outgrowing her 9 month clothes!
Lately, Olivia has been putting herself to sleep as well. Usually I rock her until she’s asleep all the way (or extremely close) and then I put her down, but this has become unsustainable as she’s gotten older…she’s just too heavy to do it comfortably now! So, I wait until she’s real drowsy and heavy, and then I put her down, give her kisses, and run away. Nine out of ten times, she lays down and goes to sleep. It’s honestly impressive to me because before if I put her down before she was 100% asleep, she’d scream until I held her again. I’m glad she’s slowly getting used to the idea of falling asleep on her own! My back is also thankful!
Music Obsessions
This month’s playlist is all over the place. Sleep Token came out with a new album, so I’ve been listening to that, mostly. Everything else is just shuffle on my main playlist getting added because “oh, I like this song”.
If you’re interested in hearing what caught my attention this month, click here!
All in all, this month has been quite stressful. I’m really hoping June will be better. I better start thinking of birthday gifts for my family and summer activities for Olivia!
If you would like to keep up with my posts, feel free to follow me here on Medium, and follow me on Twitter as well. I attempt to post at least three Mondays every month, so keep a look out for the next post! In the meantime, thank you for reading!
