Losing Time
Sleep is strange. You set aside eight-ish hours to slip into a semi-coma and refresh your brain for the next day. Naps are even weirder. You do the same thing but wake up way before eight hours have passed. Naps fee more “liminal space”-ish than sleep ever will.
I took a nap today after getting my second Covid vaccine. The first shot made me sleep for a whole day. It felt like I was in a dream state. This time, I only slept for a few hours. It felt like days.
In my sleep, I heard the YouTube videos that Matt had put on for me while I slept. Game Grumps and OneyPlays came in and out of my daze, goofing and gaffing and being their YouTuber selves. Their voices echoed off the walls. I felt like I was floating, but I also felt so, so heavy.
The state I was in was a blue one, not in feeling but in shade. Yellow creeping into the corners, red flashing every so often and throwing me back when my mind would wander to topics that would potentially wake me from my sleep.
I floated through the parking garage of my mind, lights flickering on and off in the damp darkness. My feet never touched the ground. It was too hot even though the environment was cold. I could see the day trying to break beyond the parking garage walls.
When I woke up the first time, I felt myself talking and moving, but it didn’t feel real. It felt like I was still sleeping, readjusting to get comfortable again…or as comfortable as I could be with my sore arm.
The next hour was one of darkness. All I saw and heard was static. It felt like hands were holding me in place, not violently, but I couldn’t move regardless. I tried to wake back up several times but couldn’t. This isn’t anything new; my sleep sometimes gets interrupted by this strange feeling of anxiousness. Like I’m losing time by recharging my batteries.
I woke up that second time feeling confused and achy. How long was I out? Had I woken up before? Dwelling on the day, I couldn’t quite remember the details. I only remembered the vaccine, the tingles in my lips and arm, the immense exhaustion I felt until waking up just then.
Sleep is strange. I always feel like I’m losing time.
Hello everyone! I had lots in my drafts, but my foggy post-vaccinated brain is in no shape to properly edit them. Instead, I decided to write about my day. Sorry the post is short, but my day has definitely been short. Naps do that!
I wanted to be able to give you guys something, because I always feel bad when I skip a post. I’m not completely knocked on my ass from my second vaccine yet, so here’s what I wrote for you all today!
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In the meantime, thanks for reading as always! I extra appreciate when y’all read these short blogs. Hopefully next week I’ll have recovered and I can give you guys something new!
