Actions
It’s hard to own up to your words sometimes. Saying one thing and doing what you wanted to do all along can be easier in the short term, but long term is a different story. If you can’t live up to your own words, how do you expect to find people who trust you to act the way you say you do?
For me, I find it hard to express myself emotionally. I tend to say one thing and then completely do another because I’m afraid of confronting my own feelings about whatever problem is in front of me. Over the years, I’ve learned how to explain how I feel (although I still cry under pressure). I’ve also learned that once I confront those feelings, I have to follow through with my actions. If I say “I’m sorry,” I have to actually change whatever it is I’m sorry for. Otherwise, it’s just an empty promise.
I’m reminded that “actions speak louder than words” constantly. An example of it in action happened this past week; two people I know were interested in each other, but one had a partner. Instead of setting a clear boundary, the partnered up person continued to flirt and pursue this other person until they finally kissed. Once the kiss happened, the partnered person decided to flip the script, saying that they were never interested in leaving their partner and especially not interested in the other person at all…like not even as friends.
Confusing, right? What’s the other person supposed to think? After talking, flirting, kissing with this human, they go back and say none of it was real? Either they’re lying or they’re playing a very upsetting game. Things like that stress me out to no end. Even though I wasn’t involved, seeing one person backtrack so hard because of something they basically manifested is just not fun to watch.
Some people just don’t know how to handle their own actions, don’t know how to defend what they’ve done and live in their truth in that way. They simply pretend they didn’t do anything wrong, or say that they’re going to be better and then keep doing the same harmful things they’ve been doing all along. I’m a prime example; Matt and I have a running problem with intimacy (like, spending time together) but when I say “oh, I’ll make sure to clear my schedule for you”, it usually only happens like twice and then we’re back in the same rut. This past discussion, I told him this time was different. We’ve made plans to go on dates and be present in the moment together, and I plan on not only sticking to them, but ensuring they don’t fall off in consistency. Only time will tell if I can make my actions speak louder than my promises.
You see, you can say whatever you want. Proving those words right means taking accountability for yourself and making sure those actions follow through with what you say. It takes time to learn how to do this and do it well, admittedly. I think everyone’s natural instinct is to protect themselves. Empathy comes from realizing that you can protect yourself while protecting others. It’s a skill to be able to live up to what you say and believe in. Take time to refine that skill everyday by telling your truth and then sticking to it.
Hello everyone! My life has been so busy lately. A lot of it stems from work stuff, but every aspect of life has been chaotic. I’m hoping it’ll calm down enough for me to write it all out for the monthly update!
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